Top 3 Tips For A Bigger Flaccid (Hanging) Penis Size (And The Best Method To Bring It All Together)


I’m sure you would love to have a huge penis erection that is long, thick, rock-hard, attractive, and muscular-looking. Am I right? Well, you most certainly are not alone with this much sought after goal most men have. That being said, I’m pretty sure that if you want to have a huge erection, you also want to have a huge flaccid (hanging) penis size as well. Am I right again?

Well my friend, the good news is that you can not only increase how big your flaccid hanging size is, you can also increase your erection size (and gain all of those benefits I mentioned above), and you can even improve your performance with intercourse (such as curing premature ejaculation, having more intense orgasms, and more). The bad news is that most of the methods you are familiar with (extenders, pumps, hanging weights, surgery, and pills) are NOT going to get you to the promised land!

In the words to follow I’m going to share with you the top 3 tips on how you can increase your flaccid hanging size (which will also increase your erected size as well), and also which method actually does work to bring all of this together naturally easily, SAFELY, permanently, and without spending obscene amounts of money!

What Increases Your Flaccid Size…

1. Your ligament needs to be stretched…

The penis has a ligament that is responsible for the length of your penis. This ligament is called the suspensory ligament. It extends a few inches below your pelvic bone and out to your penis. A natural method will put out those few inches that is below your pelvic bone and thus increasing the length of your flaccid and erected size.

2. You have to have an increase of blood circulation…

One of the most important aspects of getting a bigger, stronger, and harder erection, and also a bigger hanging size is that you must have more blood flowing into your penile shaft.

Pumps and pills claim to do this very well. Well, in my own experience, and in light of many reviews from other men, pumps will only work on a temporary basis (and they cause side-effects), and pills (the natural and safe kind) actually do work for increasing blood flow. However, pills can not increase your penis size… they only help with speeding up blood flow, and that alone does not make you bigger. JUST having more blood flow will help with erectile dysfunction.

3. Chamber expansion…

You have 3 penile chambers… and all of them must be stimulated and NATURALLY expanded in order for you to get a bigger flaccid and erected penis size… and there is only ONE method that will do this extremely important step.

The Method That Brings It All Together…

The best and most effective method to naturally stretch your suspensory ligament, increase blood flow, and expand your penile chambers are natural penis exercises.

Penis exercises are a group of exercise routines that you do with nothing but your hands and some lubrication. You can learn how to do these routines by downloading a reputable penis exercise program (which are very affordable, very informative, very fun, and very discreet).

These exercises are divided up into 3 levels (beginner, intermediate, and advanced). If you follow a program exactly, you can see pretty significant changes within the first 3 weeks (as it was for me).

Before I started a penis exercise program I was about 5 inches fully erected and my flaccid size was TERRIBLE! Basically, my flaccid size looked as if I barely had a penis (lol)!

Once I started doing these penis exercises, the first 2 things I noticed was that my flaccid size was increasing and I was lasting longer during sex. In about 8 weeks, I ended up with a much bigger hanging size, I gained 2 extra inches on my erected size, I’m more thicker, and harder, and my performance in the bedroom has greatly improved.

Bottom line, if you want to improve your flaccid and erected size, and if you want to knock your significant others stockings off, just as long as you stay natural and stay consistent, you too can experience similar results as I and many other man have by going with a natural method.


Pants Someone – Tips to Pants Someone, Faster and Easier


Pants someone means pulling their pants down. Wow, this topic is quite interesting. Why? It is because most people who want to pants someone’s under must be doing it for joke or other silly thing. And that’s they way it is. Pulling under someone’s pants is taking risky, that person can be really mad.

That’s why it is suggested for you to do this only with someone close to you such as close friends or lover. They will be less likely to get mad at you. But they may want to hit you back. So for you who want to do this kind of joke, here are the simple and easy tips.

1. The first thing you need to remember before pulling a person’s under is to do it fast. If you do it slow, there will be a chance for the person to hit you back, means pulling your pants. And you don’t want to be the victim of your own plan, do you? So make it fast.

2. Decide the friend that will be your victim. As stated in the previous, make sure he or she is a person close to you. Means that both of you are close to each other. So you will not get any trouble for doing this.

3. After deciding the victim, now it is time for you to decide the occasion when the action will be done.

4. Come up to them from the front or the back. Choose one of the sides; front or back will be just fine.

5. Grab his or her pants. Do it really fast and strong.

6. And directly pull it down. From grabbing to pulling, you must spend times only 5-8 seconds. Do it really fast.

7. After succeeded in pulling down the under. Make sure what kind of underwear he or she wear, and whether they are embarrassed. You do this for a purpose, don’t you? By remembering underwear they wear and how they are embarrassed, you can make fun of them at that time and in the future.

8. Check out their legs or just laugh along with the rest of the people. It will surely make the person feel ashamed.

9. So be careful. If the person starts to lunge at you, move back or run. He or she may do a quick and unpredictable revenge at you directly at that time. So be aware and save your self right away.

Those are the tips, easy and simple right? Just remember a couple things you must have, courage and speed. So, who will be your victim?


Different Types Of Data Communication Media


The process in which data is transferred from one computer to another is known as communication media. Data communication involves transmission of digital of information to different electronic devices through wireless or cabled connections. The two commonly used computer communication media used are bounded and unbounded media.

A. Bound Media

Data transfer through physical connections is referred to as bounded media in that signals are sent to other external devices from one computer in a network. Computers can be interconnected to share files and devices in a network by means of cabling which facilitates faster communication of information. Bounded media is a faster data communication that provides high speed transfer of signals over long distances and is the most reliable media for message sending.

Bounded media is categorized into three types of data communication which enables connection of different types of network. These cables include:

1. Coaxial cable

This is most common bounded media that is many electronics to transfer data and it is designed with two parallel copper conductors. It has a solid central copper conductor that transmits signal and is coated with a protective cover to reduce electromagnetic interference. Coaxial cable is found in different gauges at affordable prices and is easier to work with. They are easy to install and can support up to 10Mps capacity with medium attenuation. Despite its popularity, the only serious drawback it has is that the entire network is always affected with a single cable failure.

2. Twisted pair cable

Twisted pair cables are found in two types and these include unshielded and shielded twisted pair cables. It is commonly used because it is lighter and inexpensive. They are made up of twisted solid copper wires which help to reduce vulnerability to EMI and cross talk effects. This type of cables is cheaper and can support up to 100mps speed capacity.

3. Fiber optic

Unlike other types of cables, fiber optic uses electrical signals for communication and is made up of reflective cladding that prevents loss of light in the glass core. Although it very expensive and hard to install, optic cables can support at least 2gbps and are not vulnerable to EMI interference. It has got also very fast data transmission and very low attenuation compared to other data cables.

B. Unbounded media

This type of data communication media involves networking of multiple computers through a wireless connection. Creating a wireless connection is much easier since no physical connection is required and can connect multiple computers in a room. Unbounded media uses space or air as the transmission medium for electronic waves. Some of the unbounded media are the satellites, radio, Bluetooth and Wi-Fi among others. Installation of wireless network is much easier and faster compared to the bounded media which require an expert to do the configuration. Through wireless settings, you can also transfer huge files of data to any networked computer since the unbounded media supports very high bandwidths just like the cabled network.

Generally, in order to transmit data over networked computers, you will have to use either bounded or unbounded types of media. Depending on the type of network you want to create, convenient type of media is required to enable consisted and proper data communication.


Antique Floor Lamps – World’s Best Reading Lamps


First let us define antique floor lamp. Of course a floor lamp normally rests upon the floor as opposed to resting upon a table, the wall or the ceiling. The general definition of an antique means something from a bygone era. This places the term outside the legal arena and into common usage. “era” is general perceived and is defined as a long indefinite time period which also works out perfectly for this general definition. This general definition works perfectly since any identification of an “antique floor lamp” is fairly useless without some time period designation normally in the form of circa 1905 which literally means “about the year 1905”. So I will use the term antique floor lamp on this basis and often substitute it with the term vintage floor lamp. This discussion does not address modern reproductions of antique lamps which is another subject to itself.

More and more people are learning to appreciate the quality and styling of antique floor lamps especially as most of the ones being produced today are molded plastic and literally made to be thrown away. Most all floor lamp makers from the turn of the century made their lamps from heavy metals such as cast iron, brass, steel and cast zinc sometimes combined with marble, onyx, glass and stone. Our lamp shop regularly restores these antique floor lamps for resale as well as for our customers’ own use. From our 30 years of experience it is clear that many of these antique floor lamps will last for hundreds of years. The electrical components, the fabric shades and the painted finishes often need restoration but most were made with such fine quality, that they are a much better value than brand new high end lamps that sell for many hundreds of dollars. You will find some other surprises about these collectible works of art below.

High quality, beauty and function were powerful influences on the makers of antique floor lamps. Many people are aware of their outstanding quality and beauty but completely surprised about the highly developed functional and technical characteristics. There are far too many examples to list here but I will mention a couple of the more important ones.

The brightest lamp that you can purchase today in any store was designed and made circa 1920. It is also the most versatile lamp that you can buy anywhere. Further it will outlast most any modern lamp that you can find at any price. This antique floor lamp is known by a numerous names such as: 6 Way Floor Lamp, Reflector Floor Lamp, and “JUNIOR”. The design begins with a heavy metal base sometimes highly decorated with an upright tubing leading up to a central electrical socket surrounded by 3 arm lights (4 lights total). The central light takes a 3 way bulb (low-medium-high) that is often a MOGUL size which is larger than a standard socket with higher wattage (100-200-300 watts). The three arm lights are controlled by a switch that can turn on separately just 1, 2 or all 3 of the arm lights. Further, many of these JUNIORS had a small light under the base which provided a very subtle night time floor light operated by a foot switch mounted on the side of the base. As if this were not enough, the central top socket is encased in a large metal cup which holds a white waffle patterned glass bowl that reflects light upward to bounce of the ceiling. A fabric or silk shade (also called JUNIOR shade) rests upon the glass reflector bowl to reflect light downward for reading. A single arm light can provide a simple night light or at it brightest setting, it can light up an entire room. There is no brighter lamp or more versatile lamp available anywhere today and it was designed and made nearly 100 years ago!

One of the best reading lamps in the world was also designed circa 1920. It has been highly imitated but it still remains unchallenged. The Bridge Arm Floor Lamp or Bridge Lamp has a typical floor lamp design with metal base and upright standard which can take the form of various types of decorated tubing, twisted iron rods, etc. At the top of the standard is a decorative cast metal arm with a graceful arc or curvature which ends with an electrical socket pointing downward and covered by a fabric or glass shade. This has the effect of offsetting the light by about 14-18″ from the upright standard at the same time lowering it so that it is closer to the reading material or work project. The result is an excellent reading lamp or work lamp which places the light bulb very near the task at hand. Many of these Bridge Arm Floor Lamps have convenient pull chains which hang below the bottom of the lamp shade for ease of operation.

Of course there are many other kinds of antique floor lamps such as torchiere, two light, curved arm, swing arm, etc. Even the oldest and most dilapidated of these well built heirlooms can be brought back to life with some scrubbing, sanding, painting, rewiring and sometimes soldering or welding.

If you want to buy a lamp that you can give to your grand kids, consider buying an antique floor lamp.

– Jim Hoyle


A Helping Hand to the Dying


What if someone very close to you was on the fast track towards death, maybe through disease, maybe by a sudden illness, or maybe they were just dwindling away in old age. What would you do? What can anyone do when all else has failed, and the end is near?

No one gets out of here alive! That’s the fact. We all are going to die

one day or another. And as unpleasant a fact that is, one must be pre-

pared for that day to come, either sooner or later.

What if a terrible accident left you in a permanent vegetative state?

Would your family know your wishes, or would they be left arguing

over the vacant shell of a body that once housed You, the individual? It’s happened before, as we were all morbidly fascinated watching the fate of the young woman in Florida, to know who would win this last battle over her life: parents or husband.

Granted, these were extreme circumstances that the average person will not have to determine, yet still, discussion of end of life issues is a


As a Hospice patient volunteer for many years, I have witnessed the end

of life issues with a number of people. I consider it a special gift to be

admitted into a person’s life at a most vulnerable and poignant time,

a gift of being present at the edge of passing over. I am also a Reiki

practitioner, which is a form of hands-on healing that channels chi, or

life force energy into my patients. I have used this on many occasions

to ease the process of death, creating a protective, calm environment in

their bodies.

Although all deaths are not what could be considered “good deaths”, I

was fortunate enough to assist at the bedside of patients who died a good

death: family members present, pain managed to a level of endurance and

an attitude of acceptance of the inevitable.

No one wants to die alone.

Even patients who are medicated with large amounts of morphine or other narcotics are aware of their surroundings, hearing being the last sense that

dies. One should approach a deathbed with a sense of quiet reverence, as if a baby were asleep in a crib. When a person is preparing to leave this earth,

their senses are heightened by the feel of the energy in the room, the smell,

and the sounds. These are the last input into their bodies in this life.

As people draw nearer to their final exit, the veil that separates the “real”

world and the spiritual world becomes lighter and more transparent. I have

had patients tell me about dead relatives and angels visiting them at their

bedside, waiting for their transition. It gives great comfort to know that not

only are family members on one side looking over them, but others on the

spirit side are also watching over them.

Most people will have gone off their food for the last few days. Their breathing will become what is called the “death rattle”…a labored heavy breath. If they

are able to, some patients will curl into a fetal position on their right side, called the “sleeping lion” position, which will help the spirit to exit through the top of their head.

Patients respond, even under the cloud of drugs, to touch. Their extremities will feel cold, as if the withdrawal has already begun to pull their life force out through the center of their bodies.

I once visited the father of a friend as he lay dying in the hospital. While he was seemingly asleep, a nurse was trying unsuccessfully to draw blood, but unable to

extract enough blood due to the lack of blood pressure. He was fidgety and uncomfortable as she poked and prodded his arm. I quietly sat down beside him, and placed my hands on his head, the flow of energy began immediately to transfer into him. He turned toward me, trying to talk, but only moaned as the effects of the morphine were too strong to overcome. I believed he knew I was there to help and didn’t want any more treatment from the nurse. I asked the nurse to stop poking him with needles while I worked on him, which she was kind enough to do. The session lasted about an hour and a half. During that time, he went from an agitated state of extreme restlessness to falling into a peaceful slumber. I stayed for several more hours, watching him sleep, holding his hand.

Eventually, I left the hospital, but told the family that I would return first thing in the morning, to check on him. There was no need. I was called before 8 A.M. with the news that he had passed very peacefully at 6:30 A.M. Apparently, one son had sat up with him all night long, and when the son got up to use the bathroom, his father breathed his last breath. So aware was he of the son in the room that he didn’t want to have his son see him die. Not an uncommon thing,

by the way, for parents to protect their children until the end.

People die the way they live.

I have been witness to people suffering from final stage cancer and ALS who have been adamant about NOT receiving pain medication. These brave and exceptional patients felt that they wanted to remain coherent and present up to

the moment of their final departures. While this choice seems incomprehensible to most, I was truly amazed with their ability to remain true to their ideals. It is probably as difficult to support a person close to you while observing this

process, a dying person’s desire to maintain control over their circumstance is their one last requirement. And who are we to set a standard for their end of life? Crossing over is an intensely unique process, not unlike being born into the world.

With much advancement in medical technology today, we are blessed to be recipients in extending our lives. However, we would be wise to discuss with our loved ones the lengths that we are willing to go to extend our lives…what is the quality of the life going to be, both for ourselves and the ones committed to our care. Most people do not favor being hooked up with many tubes in a hospital

Room, but prefer to die at home, in their own familiar surroundings.

Death is not an end, but a passage. It is not a failure to survive, but a doorway to the spiritual realm. Often, death is the end of a person’s suffering and a sense of relief for those who take care of them.

I used to believe that diseases such as cancer that slowly rob the body of life

were a terrible fate. I have been witness to the gift of time that cancer can give

its patients: time to make amends, time to set things straight, time to spend together, a finite time where each and every moment counts. And that is the kind of time well spent that will carry the survivors over in the grieving days to come.

We all have just so many days here on earth to live our lives. If we could just realize how quickly that time slips away, we may live a more joy-filled life for

the precious moments of togetherness.

Life is short, be happy.

Difficult as it is to be a caretaker to a loved one on the verge of passing, it is a

Final act of love and compassion. The most simple act of being there, holding

A hand is really all that is required.


A Digital Piano Review


Today digital pianos range in difference by size, weight, and quality. Many digital pianos have weighted key action, and their advantages over traditional pianos is in their portability and the fact they never need to be tuned. This digital piano review gives some general information about digital pianos that I have played with and provides a link for recommend sites to buy these and other great digital pianos online from trusted sites.

Yamaha P120 Review

The Yamaha P120 is a very good replica of an acoustic grand piano, and the key-weight is very close to the real thing. You have options to change the touch of the keys to soft, medium, and hard. This digital piano will weigh a little over 40-45 pounds. The Yamaha P120 have impressively realistic sounds, especially the two settings for Grand Piano. The other incredible sounds that you will like would also be the organ and harpsichord which are also very realistic. A downfall though is that there are few bells or whistles for this digital piano.

Roland HP137 Review

The Roland HP137 is realistic enough for practicing on, but this piano in my opinion is best for beginners. The keys are a bit light and not so realistic, and would be fine for non-professional players, or players in the early stages of learning how to play a piano. The piano can play the sound of a grand piano, electric piano, harpsichord, pipes, and also come with a demo of eight songs. The piano do not take up much space and also have two headphones jacks so when you play, only you can hear the sound.

Casio CPS-85 Review

The Casio CPS-85 is a very good portable piano that is not too heavy. This digital piano have the feelings of a upright piano, which is good for practicing piano lessons but the keys are a bit light. There is a option for piano 1, (which is higher in sound), and piano 2 (which is more relaxed). The choice of different voices such as the harpsichord and vibraphone will provide enjoyment while playing and practicing your favorite pieces.

Kawai MP9000 Review

The weighted-keys are actually wooden with the “bounce back” action as an acoustic grand piano. The hammers are on top and below the keys, and this is what creates the bounce back key action. The piano is a bit heavy and weighs about 100 pounds. This digital piano is good for pianists interested in jazz and classical music. The Kawai MP9000 is limited in that there are just 16 sounds (plus the changes you can make) but they are good quality sounds.


Home Theater Sound Systems


When you get a home theater, you are probably really excited about your new TV. But a lot of people over look that maybe getting a sound system in addition to the speakers that come with the TV is a good idea. You can get surround sound, or just large speakers to attach to the TV. Getting clear sound along with the new flat screen clear picture helps to make for the ultimate movie experience. Whatever you decide to do, you can be sure that you are going to be getting the best movie experience possible when you combine a new TV with a new sound system. Surround sound is most popular for when people buy Home Theaters, and they are perfect to replicate that movie like room. In a movie theater, speakers are located all around you, not just in front of you. Duplicate that feeling with better speaker quality and surround sound!

Surround sound comes in a lot of different kinds of features, from stand alone speakers that you can put anywhere in the room, or wall mounts that you put in each corner of the room. Whatever you decide to do with your speakers, you will find that you can get great sound quality, from even the cheapest of surround sound systems you buy. You do not need to worry about blowing huge amounts of money, and you can find a sound system that fits your budget and all of your movie watching needs.

If you do not want to get surround sound, then additional, high quality speakers are also available that plug right into your TV. This is the best way to get great sound and not have to worry about installing a sound system. Speakers are relatively inexpensive, and you can get them easily at any store, whether it’s the local sound store or just at Wal-Mart. Speakers just plug right into your TV, and you do not need to worry about lots of complicated wires. The only thing you have to do is to install and get ready to watch your favorite movie in your Home Theater!


What Makes You a Unique Network Marketer?


With over 4,800 network marketing companies and millions of network marketers affiliated with those companies, what exactly is it that makes you different from all the rest? Why should someone join you – and your network marketing business – rather than signing-up with someone else?

Do they perceive that you can provide assistance for them to succeed in the business more so than anyone else? Have you built your brand – YOU, INC. – to such a level that they desire to model themselves after what you have done in order that their brand be built?

We all have different talents. The object of succeeding in network marketing is to take a long hard look within ourselves and find that talent we have the most passion for. Once discovered, nourish and nurture it to build your business by others observing your special ability and wanting to associate with you as they recognize themselves in you.

Some of us are great calling strangers and building a relationship over the phone. Others are not. I have never been one to cold call a stranger and work through the awkward silent pauses as the person on the other end of the call is wondering why is this person bothering me.

“Dialing for dollars” was probably not Daegan Smith’s favorite pastime so he developed an email marketing system with a distribution of a “guestimated” 200,000. One thing Daegan does do is write creative emails…and, more importantly, creates captivating subject lines to get you to open each one of his emails. (And, look forward to the next one arriving either that afternoon or the next morning.)

One of my team members disseminates a daily quotation and thought provoking question. I – along with countless other people – go searching for this to start the day. She has indeed positioned herself as providing tremendous value with her ability to research and give her readers a compelling reason to keep returning so that her daily posts are not missed. In short, she has found her specialty and is viewed as an expert.

There is no better way to showcase (and uniquely brand) yourself than by becoming literally a video machine. You can easily cut one or two videos a day. And, your being new to the making of videos can only lead to those viewing your video to get to like you even more. They can relate to your uneasiness at first because that is exactly how they would feel were they in front of the webcam.

There is no one in the world exactly like you. No one has your exact talents. Let your uniqueness work for you in building your network marketing business.


Dramatically Improve Efficiency and Safety by Using a Mitre Saw Stand & Table Saw Stand Work Station


If you are like most construction companies you are in a constant battle to improve your efficiency while at the same time maintaining a safe work environment. Those two needs too often seem to be at odds with each other. The construction industry is notorious for workers being asked to be faster and safer as they perform tasks that are seemingly routine yet actually quite dangerous. Therefore, it is imperative for construction workers to be ever vigilant as most accidents happen on a construction site while performing a task that is done a hundred times a day such as using a circular power saw.

The circular power saw commonly known as the skilsaw is one of those tools that every construction site has to have. A well-run construction crew will have several saws on hand to improve efficiency and it is imperative that everyone is capable of using one safely. The skilsaw is a tool that looks like an easy tool use in the hands of a journeyman, however, it can take months of making simple cuts for a crew boss to feel comfortable about a new employee using the saw unsupervised. There is good reason to fear the skilsaw.

First, skilsaws are heavy and need to be handled with one hand which takes hand and arm strength that a new employee simply doesn’t have or even if they do it takes weeks to get used to handling the weight and balance. Second, the skilaw is a very powerful tool with a lot of torque. This causes twisting, turning, and binding as the saw is moved through the board. This is an especially dangerous situation for a new handler particularly if they are not properly trained and supervised. It is not uncommon to have the saw bind up and kick back towards the body causing the potential for missing fingers or stitches. Third, a new employee must be trained in understanding balance and fulcrum points. This actually might be the hardest thing to train because unfortunately it is something that has to be learned on the job and through experience. While cutting through a board it takes experience and practice to know how the board will fall to avoid binding. Fourth, the accuracy of routine cuts is something that takes a lot of practice. A new employee has to measure and mark, use a square to make a line, and finally make the cut accurately along that line. All bosses know this takes months of making thousands of cuts before an employee can do this in a manner that is safe and accurate. Finally, the seemingly simple task of laying down the skill saw after use is actually one of the most dangerous parts of using the circular power saw. It is at this moment when the blade is often still running while the saw is being laid down on the floor or ground. If it is not done properly blades can be ruined and more importantly fingers and toes can be at serious risk. For all of these reasons the skilsaw is probably the most dangerous tool and yet there is seemingly no way in getting around the need for using one on a daily basis… until now.

Finally, there is a tool that can make the skill saw nearly obsolete. I suggest using the latest innovation in a chop saw stand that finally addresses all of the weaknesses in all the other stands that are on the market today. The state-of-the-art measuring and brake system will do away with the need for a tape measure, pencil, speed square, and even your tool bag. The stand will allow for training a new employee to make quick, safe, accurate, repeatable, cuts in a matter of minutes instead of months. It’s time to take multi-functionality, speed, accuracy, efficiency, and safety to the next level on your job site.


The Healing Power Of True Forgiveness


True forgiveness is a promise not a feeling. When we forgive other people truly, we are making a promise not to use their past misdeed against them. True forgiveness is a kind of gratitude. When we forgive others we show them the mercy that we have often received and have been thankful for.

True forgiveness is an act of love. It is most healing, most profound when it grows out of humility and realism. It is a challenging act, that whether someone else is entirely to blame in a situation, and we are blameless; there is still in each one of us insufficiencies and imperfections that can be our greatest teacher.

We may not recognise true forgiveness even when we have experienced it. Yet we feel it in our body that something has left us and we are no longer carrying the load that we used to. We tend to feel sorrow instead of rage over the circumstance, and we start feeling sorry for the person who has wronged us rather than being angry with them.

The muscular tensions that we had come to assume were normal get eased. We become less vulnerable to infection or to far more serious illness. Our immune system lifts, our face muscles let down. Food tastes better, and the world looks brighter. Depression radically diminishes. We become more available to others and to ourselves.

True forgiveness doesn’t lead to forced reunions, as there may be some people whom we are better never to see, to hear from, or even think about for more than a few moments at any time. But it help us to let people go from our thoughts, to release them from any wish that could harm them, and to bring us cleansing freedom.

We may be able to discover true forgiveness in a moment, but more often it takes weeks, months or sometimes years. It is something that we have to open to it, to invite it in, and it rarely goes one way only. As we may need to learn how to forgive ourselves before we can offer our true forgiveness, face to face, or silently to others. “The most important lesson on the road to spiritual maturity is how to truly forgive.” • Lisa Prosen

To search our way towards true forgiveness, we may need to bypass our rational mind. As it deeply offends the rational mind to forgive truly someone who has hurt us, abused us, wounded us; to forgive completely someone who has taken away the life of someone we love or has simply offended us or misunderstood us. There is no easy way to talk of bypassing it, and there is certainly no easy way to put true forgiveness into practice.

As challenging as it is, true forgiveness is the supreme virtue, the highest point of love, as it proclaims: I will try to go on loving the life in you, the divine in you, or the soul in you. Even though I totally despise what you have done or what you stand for. What is more: I will strive to see you as my equal, and your life as having equal value to my own, although I abhor what you do and everything you stand for.

Because true forgiveness is, in its raw forms, a virtue that is disturbing and confronting as it is healing and uplifting. It is important to be clear that there is no confusion between forgiving and accepting. Extending our true forgiveness doesn’t mean that we justify the actions that caused us harm nor does that mean that we have to seek out those who have harmed us. True forgiveness is simply a movement to release and ease our heart of the pain and hatred that binds it. “Forgiveness is not letting the offender off the hook. We can and should still hold others accountable for their actions or lack of actions.”

The need for true forgiveness starts with an act of betrayal, cruelty, separation or loss. Sometimes what is lost is trust. Sometimes it is a feeling of certainty about ourselves; about who we are, how we are seen, and what we stand for. The suffering that precedes the need for true forgiveness is never welcomed. It may well be the debris in our lives that we will finally and painfully turn into the gold of awareness. But we often dragged towards this knowledge only with great reluctance.

Hurt and suffering pushes us to expand our emotional arsenal, even as it pulls away the security of what is familiar. Forcing us to consider what our values are, and how they can support us; what strengths we dare own up to; and what strengths we need promptly to acquire. All of this is too invigorating to be in any way comforting. Yet as Young Eisendrath has said: “When suffering leads to meanings, that unlock the mysteries of life, it strengthens compassion, gratitude, joy, and wisdom.”

We sometimes use the word forgiveness when we are more correctly excusing ourselves for something we have done or have failed to do. Excusing doesn’t mean accepting what has been done or not done. It simply means that someone regrets what they have done; probably wishing that events could have been different; or that someone is at least optimistic that it won’t happen again; and the matter can be dropped.

True forgiveness is a different matter. It appears to enlighten another realm of experience altogether; a place that is grimmer, more depressing, more shadowy, much more confusing; a place where there is at least some element of fear, cruelty, betrayal or breaking of trust.

To extend our true forgiveness may be an act of supreme love and gentleness, but it is also tough. It demands that at least on party faces the truth, and learn something of value from it. It doesn’t involve accepting, minimising, excusing, ignoring, or pretending to forget what has been done. “Hate is not conquered by hate. Hate is conquered by love“.

Even under most dire circumstances, long before any version of true forgiveness become possible, impersonal love; the love that makes no distinction between us and all other living creatures; demands that we give up notions of vengeance. This may not mean ceasing to be angry, if angry is what you feel. True forgiveness certainly doesn’t mean pretending that things are fine when they are not. Nor does it mean refusing to take whatever actions is needed to amend past wrongs, or protect you in the future.

We often talk about true forgiveness in a way that suggests we giving something away when we forgive. Or that we accepting something in return when others forgive us. This is false. Offering true forgiveness or allowing true forgiveness to come to existence in whatever form within us, takes nothing away from us. It restores us to something that is always within us but from which we have become unbound: a sense of unity expressed through the qualities of trust, faith, hope and love.

The one who forgives never brings up the past to that person’s face. When you forgive, it’s like it never happened. True forgiveness is complete and total. • Louis Zamperini